Foot on the flower pedals

Good morning and happy Thursday! The heat is definitely on here in the desert and it has been too hot to do much of anything except trying to keep my plants from withering under the hot sun. Last year, I was working and lost a few plants as I had no idea how hard it was to keep them alive. I water at least three times a day and have kept the plant loss to a minimum. This year the sunflowers made it! I have a total of 5 growing from the 6 seeds that I planted. Flowers really make me happy. If I could have fresh flowers around the house I would. However, I love my pets more and some flowers are not good for the pets so this makes having bouquets of flowers in the house difficult. It nice to be out in the garden and enjoy the flowers and the little birds that buzz by to check them out. Also, I am a photographer and technically, I am growing my own props.

My appointment with my neurosurgeon was yesterday. They still don’t understand why I am in pain but I am thinking that they must think I am lying because I am not requesting pain medication. If I were going to fake something, it would not be pain. I would rather fake that I am a world traveler or royalty or a hot shot, sought after photographer, not being in pain. If I only knew then what I know now about pain killers, I would have gotten intervention sooner. The nurse that I saw me, as my physician was elsewhere and could not be at my appointment, indicates that she spoke with my doctor and he suggested I see a spine specialist. I know it is not their fault and medical staff are not omniscient and omnipotent. Sometimes, we need to be our own advocates even if it means getting funny looks and hearing things that almost sound like the scratching of nails on a chalkboard, at least to me. It’s funny how I spent years trying to get someone to believe me that there was something wrong and now I have to prove again that I am in pain and not depressed. Hmmm, could our own physicians be the source of our “depression” when they can’t figure something out. There are times when I am getting up to walk and feel fine and then start to walk like a normal person and almost fall as I forget that my balance is not 100% yet. I have tried to not google my syndrome and study it. I do not want to know more than I already know and how it has affected me. I belong to two Cauda Equina Syndrome groups and the theme and content is the same, everywhere. I mean I belong to one group from the US and one group from the UK. So many of us get misdiagnosed and made to feel like we were the cause. I have noticed that the people that have gotten treatment early fair much better and happily have posted how they are problem free. If only my symptoms would have been caught back almost 10 years ago when I was told that surgery would not help. I know that I must not dwell on it but keep moving forward. I am getting closer to getting my Pain Project page up an running. It really is a slow process, at least for me. I did have delusions of grandeur and was hoping to have it up an running last month. No worries though as no one is anticipating it or anything. Actually, the Grama Kush and the Smokers website is almost ready to go live. I have been experimenting with different products and studying different formulas and such. I encourage anyone to get lost in a hobby or whatever you want to call it as it drowns out the pain, at least for me. I know that it is easier said than done but I have lived with this pain for so long that I want to forget about it and not live in it but get inspired from it. This may be why I have been shying away from most of my social media interactions lately. Whenever I am scrolling through the feeds it sometimes get depressing to see that others are suffering. So, I have been limiting my view times. However, I do like seeing other posts about what they are doing and what makes them happy. So, I am learning balance…

This weekend while we were out on a drive around the Coachella Valley I excitedly asked hubby if we could go and find Coachella Bear. I love this man, he sometimes gives me an answer I don’t want to hear but then fulfills my wishes. It was already over 100 degrees that morning when we drove to Shady Lane Park to visit the bear that was once quite a swinger in his day! Sadly, he has lost his swing…big sad face. If you google Coachella Bear images, you will see people happily posing with him and his swing at the Coachella Music & Arts Festival at the Empire Polo Fields in Indio. I am not sure when he made the move to Shady Lane but I giggle as I know that bear was witness to some shady stuff in his time. I wonder if Moon Man will make it out to one of the other Coachella Valley parks.

Next week we will be traveling and I can’t wait to see where we end up. Right on cue, my “friend” Bob is singing about a black hair beauty with dark eyes…This means it is time to get moving and shaking. Tonight however, is Country night at Fantasy Springs in Indio and the coolest group of guys that I have met there are playing tonight. If you are in the Coachella Valley and even if you are not a country music fan, check them out. Some of my best and favorite live music shots are of this band. Below is a shot I took when they were playing at the Circle in Huntington Beach.

What was really cool about that day is that we got to talk to all of them before they played. The put on quite a show as they always do. One thing that draws me in is their interactions with each other. They somehow manage to keep your toes tapping as well as provide a good visual for the eyes. Here are a few photos from one of the first times I took pictures of them. I have been working on the first one for almost two years and have not got it right just yet. Maybe tonight I will…