Rewind: January 9, 2019

Good morning! January last year was busy as I mentioned in my 2019 recap. My computer is having issues so I thought I would have a “cheat” day and repost a blog entry from 364 days ago. This was 22 days pre-surgery. It has been a struggle but really I am glad I pushed my limits in this past year. I know that people have different pain struggles and ways to cope. Sometimes I feel bad when I read other peoples posts and I can see how they are struggling. To you out there that is just starting your CES journey or maybe have been in it for years, I believe in you and know you are not lying about the pain. I know I kid around a lot about my new normals like staying upright and wishing the act of cutting the cheese didn’t hurt so bad. Yes, really. I know I am a bit crazy as I drove myself home from a C-section in 1998 two days post-op. However, I know that I am the key to my recovery, not any one else. I can choose to stay and let pain take over my life and just sit back and let the world pass me by. I see the struggles that so many are having. Two years ago I wanted to end everything, really. The pain was unbearable, it consumed my brain and made me distrust and want to close my self off to everyone. On the outside, I smiled and did my job but quietly wanted out. Had CES not made my leg numb at an opportune moment, I may not be here. So, I am not just blowing smoke. There are still days when my pain is off the charts. What works for me is to relax and refocus. The body is amazing, as it can make you get used to a pain after the initial shock. So now when am too pained to lay down or sit I water plants or I might take my camera out. I may dance, yes dancing sometimes relieves pain. Yes, to all you people afraid of sex after surgery, don’t be. As soon as my physician said it was okay, I jumped at the chance to see if the parts were still working. Yes, Cauda Equina Syndrome effects everything south of the bodies equator. It has been studied about the healing effects of human touch and its effects on pain. From my experience, I refused to go to a skilled nursing facility as I wanted to be at home with hubby where I could get skin to skin contact and not feel so alone. Being around my pets also helped tremendously. Also, keep the lines of communication open. Hubby and I talk about everything. Okay sometimes I am guilty of turning my bad ear toward him from time to time but despite our differences, and there are a few, I truly think he in my Yang. I sometimes think he is being to overprotective but really, I am not used to another male caring about me. I knew 20 years ago when we went on our first date that he was the one and so glad I waited for him.

Time to refocus and change positions. To you reader have a good day and smile and where ever your journey takes you, get there safely.

The blog post below was originally posted on 1.9.19.

The Universe obviously has a sense of humor. Why you ask? I looked at the sky a month ago and asked for something good to come my way, a little glimmer of light…

A few weeks ago I started posting photos on Instagram from past shoots that I had done with my husband and my girlfriends. These were done last year in hopes of drawing attention to my fledgling photography business. Last week, I received a message through Instagram asking if I was available for a shoot.  I jumped at the chance as I needed fresh work to post and didn’t care if it was a paid gig.  Usually, I research the person and I plan meticulously.  I figured, they researched me and she had mentioned that she had specific items that she needed to be photographed, so I didn’t stew about it. You see, I have received several messages through Instagram requesting my services only to be stood up, just like I was for my prom.  This time, I am happy to report that my “date” showed up!  Let me tell you, this girl was a real professional.  Poised, gracious and I can see her hosting her own show or as a spokesperson.  Her name is Ashley Reinke. Watch out for this rising star.  It had been almost a year since I had done a shoot like this but it’s just like riding a bike.  With every shoot, whether it’s live music or a lifestyle shoot, I go by the feel of the subject I am shooting.  I often get these ads that pop up when I am surfing the internet for online classes teaching posing techniques or offers of discounts on photo pre-sets, do yourselves a favor, do not buy into those folks!  Go out and shoot!  Shoot with reckless abandon! Do learn about your camera, that is a must.  I lightly edit most photos and may change the colors or take out that parked car in my sight but I would never add clouds and such.  Not my thang.  Echoes of, “Have fun with it.” still linger in my head during each and every shoot.  These are words of wisdom that a wise woman once bestowed upon me.  The wise lady was Sue Bruen.  She was a chef at the Brass Elephant in Monrovia, CA.  I was a cocktail waitress there and took over her duties when she quit. I had no idea how to cook but did become the chef/kitchen manager at that restaurant for a spell.  So, with her voice echoing in my head and in everything I do that I have no idea which direction I am going I just have fun with it.

To you reading this, have a fabulous day wherever you are. Be someone’s light…


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